NGAWire® | 20Mar08
In a ludicrous finding, NGA members Kurt Goetzke and Jim Hartigan just recently discovered they played on the same Albion College golf team in 1988. Goetzke, a young, upstart, hot shot freshman, and Hartigan, a time tested, wise, upper class senior, were both members of the MIAA Albion Britons collegiate golf team, but did not know each other. Flabbergasted to obtain this information, the NGA declares this to be the stupidest NGAWire® ever!
Q1 – How many years did you play?
JH: 1, my senior year.
KG: Less than 1.
Q2 – Where you scholarship or walk-on?
JH: Walk on.
KG: Walk on, no scholarships in Division 3.
Q3 – Were you any good?
KG: Better than now.
Q4 – Did you play in any tournaments?
JH: As an alternate. My scores didn’t count. I was the extra guy in case someone got struck by lighting.
KG: No, I quit before the first tournament because the coach didn’t play me even though I was better than most on the team.
Q5 – What was your best score?
JH: I don’t remember if I broke 90.
KG: No idea.
Q6 – What was your best memory?
JH: Playing Kalamazoo CC in the pouring rain for 17 of the 18 holes. I do remember shooting 99.
KG: Meeting Jim and not remembering it.
Q7 – Who was the best player on your team?
JH: Coons, I think. Don’t remember his first name.
KG: Shamus Fitzpatrick, in his mind, that is.
Q8 – What team was the best in your conference?
JH: Hope, I believe.
KG: Hope College.
Q9 – Did you take Kurt (Jim take you) under your (his) wing like a big brother?
JH: I don’t remember Kurt.
KG: No, too busy smoking pot.
Q10 – What did you think of Kurt (Jim) then?
JH: No recollection.
Q11 – What do you think of Kurt (Jim) now?
JH: Whadda you mean? I love that man.
KG: A fine coffee maker.
Q12 – Was Kurt (Jim) a dick?
JH: There were no dicks on my golf team. We were brothers, in a loose sense.
KG: He thought his shit didn’t stink.
Q13 – What did you think of his mullet (pot smoking)?
JH: I didn’t notice it.
KG: We were all advocates of it in those days.
Q14 – Why didn’t you remember Kurt (Jim) was on your team?
JH: I only played three times. He was never in my group. I don’t remember being on the bus with him. He said he didn’t play at Kalamazoo. Duck Lake was our home course.
KG: Doing too many drugs.
Q15 – Did being on the golf team help to get girls?
JH: Turns out no. I did all the ground work.
KG: No, that was my big penis.
Q16 – Was playing Albion golf fun?
JH: The short time it lasted, yes. I tried to get as many practice rounds in that I could.
KG: Best time of my life.
Q17 – Are you a better player now or then?
JH: Now, but not by much though.